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by Chris Durst Aug. 30, 2017
My conversation with the SCAMpire resumed at 9:12AM on Monday morning.
Yeah, I know he said to be in touch at 8AM, and I know that if this was a real employer I would have been there at 7:55AM with my finger on the button. But, since this is not a real job or a real employer, I figured why not push him around a bit first thing in the morning?!
(My thoughts about the chat appear in red text.)
MONDAY MORNING 9:12AM
[Me] Good morning
[SCAMpire] Good morning Christine, how was your weekend ?
[Me] I did indeed. And you? Did you tie one on? I’ll be you did! I can tell by looking at your photo you’re a real party animal!
[SCAMpire] I am doing very well Christine, thanks for asking
[Me] I have just a little time available this morning. It is the first day of school and I must get my 8 kids ready for school. (For the record, I do NOT have eight kids. I have two and they are both adults. I like to throw things like this into the dialogue to see if the scammer has even the slightest bit of conscience. I mean, who would scam a mother of eight?!)
[SCAMpire] We understand your perfectly well Christine
[Me] Please send me your instructions promptly and without a lot of small talk so I can get to it with dedication and charisma. (Cut to the chase, Bub, I’ve got things to do here.)
[SCAMpire] Acknowledged Christine, we’ll like to confirm if you received your sent job offer document for you to get used to our organization (I LOVE this. I just told him to cut the “small talk” and he simply acknowledges my comment.)
[Me] Yes. I received it over the weekend. Thank you.
[Me] I completed the information and scanned the requested documents and emailed back as requested. (OK, I lied. I didn’t complete a thing, I did NOT scan a thing, and I sure as Hell didn’t email a thing. But hey, he lied first.)
[Me] Now, I am ready to purchase my software and get started!
[SCAMpire] Acknowledged Christine, we kindly need you to resend the signed offer document once more as we seem not have received it.
[Me] Hmmm… OK. I sent it to you and to Alisa Mark (You may recall that “Alisa” was noted as the name of his “assistant” in the email that kicked this whole charade off.)
[SCAMpire] Alright Christine
[SCAMpire] The startup process for you to make your working equipment purchase payment will be staring by tomorrow Christine Okay ?
[Me] Perfect. I am SO ready to get started.
[SCAMpire] Certainly Christine, we believe you’ll be a great source working remotely for our organization (I don’t see why I wouldn’t be. The FTC thinks I’m a great source… wait… yeah, you don’t know that yet.)
[Me] So, should I report back to you in the morning?
[SCAMpire] Certainly Christine. You’re required to join us online 8:00 am your time for more updates on how to get work properly started. Have a blessed day (REQUIRED to join you at 8AM!? Methinks not, bossy pants.)
[Me] Thank you. You too sweetie pie.
TUESDAY MORNING, 8:58 AM
(I still haven’t sent them a copy of my license of the executed documents he’s been asking for.)
[Me] Good morning
[SCAMpire] Good morning Christ, and how are you doing ? (Christ? Really?)
[Me] I’m very well, but you can just call me Chris. No need for such reverence. Yet.
[Me] And how are you?
[SCAMpire] Am great and thanks for asking (Am you really?)
[Me] Well, since we’re being really candid. I said I was “very well” but, since you indicated you are “great” I feel comfortable in telling you I am actually fan-freakin-tastic!
[SCAMpire] We have not received your signed document for us to proceed further? (No kidding. That’s because I didn’t send them.)
[Me] I have sent it two times. I don’t know why it’s not going through. I sent it to you as well as to your assistant. I will try one more time. (It’s amazing how easy lying is when you are lying to a liar.)
[Me] If that does not work can I take a picture of my driver’s license and send it to you that way?
[SCAMpire] which email address have you been sending it to?
[Me] Let me check.
(I let him wait for 20 minutes while I was “checking” for the email address.)
[Me] That’s the email address that sent me the PDF file. I sent it back to that address.
[SCAMpire] Certainly Christine, you can send us a front and back clear picture of your driver’s license in close captions together with the signed offer document for us to be able to receive them for proper recording and documentation (Close captions? What the heck is that supposed to mean?)
[Me] Okay. What do you mean in close captions? I want to make sure I get it right.
[SCAMpire] We need you to send us your driver’s license in a close camera capture showing your name, passport picture, sex etc, with the job offer document as well with the inclusion of your signature and dating for us to have them received for record and documentation
[Me] Ha ha. You said sex. Naughty boy. 🙂
[Me] It’s an unusual request. I have never had to give my license to an employer before. Now that I think of it, it makes me a bit nervous. (I want him to know that I am aware that there ARE scammers out there and that I am worried about being scammed.)
[Me] If my information ended up in the wrong hands, my details could be used by scammers.
[Me] Who will be seeing the license? Should I be worried?
[SCAMpire] Your driver’s license goes directly to our database once received together with a scanned copy of your signed offer document. They’ll be registered on our database for record purposes
[Me] So I don’t need to worry about being scammed? You promise?
[Me] I trust you since we are friends now. So I need your guarantee. You have an honest face. I haven’t told you this about myself, but I am very good at reading people’s faces and your face is very kind and trustworthy.
[SCAMpire] Christine your provided driver’s license is strictly for documentation purposes and nothing more. We are a reputable company that doesn’t engage in hoax acts as we put our employees first in all our doings
[Me] Thank you for your reassurance. I was the victim of a scam before and I am just being careful.
[SCAMpire] Acknowledged Christine. Do lets provide us with the information asked for us to proceed further
[Me] I’m working on it. Hold your horses! 😉
[Me] Sorry. The camera on my phone is acting up. And I am getting the children ready for school. I will send this as soon as I return from the school! (Every new employer LOVES excuses and delays.)
[SCAMpire] Acknowledged Christine, when will you be back getting the kids to school ?
[Me] In about an hour!
5 hours later…
[Me] (So, I found an example of a State of CT driver’s license on the DMV site and, taking my cue from scammers, I doctored it to include my name. This is not my photo, not my birth date, not a real DL#, and I only wish I was 5′ 8″ tall – that would make me the perfect weight for my height!)
[Me] That’s my old address. I moved and I need to get my license updated with the new address. (Lies! Lies! Lies!)
[SCAMpire] Your driver’s license has been acknowledged Christine.
[SCAMpire] We need you to send us a snapshot of the signed offer document for documentation purposes as well Christine
[Me] I will in a moment.
[Me] Alright Christine
[Me] Sorry about the delay. I don’t know what I ate, but I’ve been sitting on the toilet for hours. I’ll tell you – you wouldn’t want to be in my bathroom right now! 🙂 (At this point I’ll say anything to try to get a rise out of these folks.)
(Returned their made-up contract with a made-up signature)
[SCAMpire] Your signed offer document has been received Christine.
[Me] Excellent! My most sincere apologies for the delay! I tried many times to email it but it seems as though it was not reaching you.
[Me] I am SO thrilled to be able to start! I think you are so awesome.
[SCAMpire] We’re thrilled to have you on board Christine
[Me] Gosh! Thank you! I’m blushing. Seriously. You just made my day!
[SCAMpire] Have a blessed day Christine as we’ll be in touch with you tomorrow 8:00 am your time for more updates on how to get work properly started. Bye
[Me] Thank you. I will speak with you in the morning. Big hugs!!
WEDNESDAY MORNING – 8:15AM
[Me] Reporting for duty!
[SCAMpire] Good morning Christine, how’re you doing today and how was your night ?
[Me] I am well, thank you for asking. How are you?
[SCAMpire] I am doing very well Christine, thanks for your kind gesture
[Me] You’re most welcome, my friend. (No matter how many times I call him my friend, or sweetie pie, or hon, he just brushes right past it.)
[SCAMpire] Christine your received signed offer document has been properly uploaded on our database for proper documentation
[Me] Yes. I know. Thank you for re-acknowledging your earlier acknowledgement. I acknowledge your acknowledgement as well.
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[SCAMpire] I am ready to move forward, purchase the necessary software, and get to work!
[Me] What’s next, hon?
5 minutes pass…
[Me] Are you there, Ron?
5 more minutes pass…
[Me] You often seem distracted. Are you serious about me working for you?
[SCAMpire] Christine we’ll like to proceed with the startup payment process for you to get work started remotely for our organization
[Me] Wonderful! I am ready!
[Me] Will the check be sent via FedEx or UPS?
[Me] I will be sure to be home when it is scheduled to arrive. (I know darn well he’s going to tell me he’s going to “email” me a check. Just playing around with him.)
[SCAMpire] Christine the company will be sending you a check via email for you to get it printed out and deposited via your bank mobile app for your startup process to proceed further Okay ?
[Me] A check via email? I have never done that before. That’s really a thing?
[SCAMpire] We understand your concern Christine, but proceeding the mobile deposit process will be done via our detailed sent instructions in which we believe you won’t be experiencing any difficulties (Aw. He’s so understanding. He’s always got my back. Thank goodness for his care and guidance.)
[Me] Can I take the printed check to the bank teller instead of using an app?
[Me] As long as you send instructions I am happy to try it your way.
[SCAMpire] We understand your concern Christine, but the check that you’ll be receiving is for mobile deposit procedures only. We believe the process is straight forward via our provided instructions as we’ll be here to provide you with remote procedures if any issues persist
[Me] Thank you.
[SCAMpire] Acknowledged Christine
[Me] Acknowledged Ronald
[SCAMpire] We need you to give us some minutes to have your check sent to your email address for you to proceed with the mobile deposit procedure via our provided detailed instructions (“We need you give us some minutes”… just… sigh)
[Me] Ok. I will give you some minutes. How many do you need?
[SCAMpire] Christine your check has been sent.
[SCAMpire] Your’re required to proceed with the mobile deposit process by following our provided instructions to get the check deposited
[Me] OK. I will find it now.
[SCAMpire] Acknowledged Christine, we’ll be on standby
(30 minutes later…)
[Me] I am downloading the bank app now. (And taking a little time to research your “check.”)
(So, here’s the “check” they emailed to me:
The first thing I did was pick up the phone to call “First Ohio Title Insurance Agency” to let them know their name is being used on these bogus checks. When I reached their site to get a phone number, I found this comment, “Wire fraud is prevalent in the Real Estate Industry…” Sounds like it’s not their first rodeo.
The woman who answered the phone at First Ohio sounded as though she’d heard it all before and suggested I call the President of the company. I did not. Bottom line is this – they can’t do much to stop scammers from using their name until it’s too late.
Next, I called US Bank National Association to alert them to the fraud since their routing number and bank name are being used on the phony check.)
[Me] I have a quick question for you when you have a moment.
[SCAMpire] Proceed with your question Christine ?
[Me] Yes. I just noticed that the company name on the check is First Ohio, but you are with Santen Pharm.
I don’t understand the relationship between the two companies.
[SCAMpire] We understand your concerns Christine. As we proceed with ongoing process of trying to secure branches in the US region, we’re also having various helping affiliates for the main time to help our organization with payments pending when all our ACH upgrades for us to issue payments directly are completed (Wow! “Trying to secure branches in the US region.” Did he even bother to research the company he’s pretending to work for? They HAVE a US presence.)
[Me] I see. I believe I saw on your site that you have a US based office as well as the overseas office. I just wondered why the check is not drawn on that branch.
[SCAMpire] As we proceed further to get more affiliates to broaden our horizons we believe we have the ability to issue you payment from any of our affiliates
[Me] I see. OK.
[Me] I will work on this deposit now.
[SCAMpire] Acknowledged Christine
[Me] OK. The deposit is made.
[SCAMpire] Acknowledged Christine, we need you to provide us with the deposit confirmation for record purposes and proper documentation
[Me] of course. I need to pick my kids up at school and I will do that as soon as I get back.
[SCAMpire] Acknowledged Christine. We’ll be awaiting your deposit confirmation for record documentation
(3 hours later I sent him this image. Of course I did NOT REALLY deposit the check. I found this image on the Bank of America site and edited it to include the amount of the check he’d sent me, the correct date, etc.
Oh! And I very carefully made sure to indicate $0.00 as the “Amount Available Now.” This means he can’t ask me to do anything yet.
Then I sent him this message…)
[Me] Is that what you needed?
[SCAMpire] Yes Christine. Your mobile deposit confirmation has been received for recording purpose
[Me] What happens now?
[SCAMpire] Christine with the confirmation of your deposit, we’ll call it a day. We’ll be in touch with you tomorrow 8:00 am your time for more updates on how to make the purchase of your working equipment. Stay blessed and take care
[Me] OK. Thank you.
[Me] I’m really looking forward to seeing what happens next! Can I order my software now?
[Me] Seems like a waste of time to wait until tomorrow, no? (I know exactly why, of course. It’s because he’s waiting for the bank to make funds available. I’m just trying to keep him talking because it’s the middle of the night where he is and I enjoy causing his sleep deprivation.)
[SCAMpire] Christine we understand your concerns but as we proceed on a stage by stage setup procedure, you’ll be proceeding further with your equipment purchase procedure by tomorrow (upon the funds availability)
[Me] Oh! Duh! Of course. Silly little me! Whatever was I thinking?!
[Me] I’ll talk to you in the morning.
[SCAMpire] Certainly Christine. Have a blessed day
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